We ran a competition at Samstock.  The idea was to get people to engage with God's Word.  To win a prize, they had to re-write a section of Mark 6 into Kiwi Txt language.  Here is an amalgamation of some of the best entries.  If you get lost, a glossary is at the bottom.

Mark 6: 30 – 56

Jesus was just chillin’ wiv his apostles.  They startd talkn’ bowt what they had been teachn’.  All these otha pepz were comin’ and going.  So they didn’t evn get a chance to have a feed.

Then Jesus said “Come with me bros, by urselves to a quiet place, u guyz need sum rest!”  So they wnt away by themselves in a boat to a chillaxin’ place.  But some pepz saw them going and recognised them.  They all ran faster than the boat and bet the apostles to the chillaxin’ place.

He wnt 2 da crwd n ws sry 4 dem.  Dey wr lk shep wit no shepherd.  He tat dem heaps.  

Whn it was lat his mates said, “Dis is a lonle spot n it is lat.  Dey shd go n by grub.”  Jesus said, “U giv dem sumtin 2 eat.”  

Dey said, “its 2 much cash!”

“How many scoops of chips do u guys hav?” Jsus askd.  “Go find out.”

They cam bak nd sed “5 scoops nd a coupla pieces of fish.”  Jsus told them to get th ppl redy 4 a picnic.  There was a whole bunch of ppl on each picnic rug.  Jsus said grace, unwrapped the newspaper nd gave bits of the greasy goodness to his m8s to hand out to the ppl.  Sweet!

Afta ever1 8 w@ dey wntd, Jdogz D-siplz pkd up 12 lrge bsketz of lftova bread & >0.  Dea wer 5000 dudez hu 8 da food.  Str8 away JC made hiz D-siplz get inda boat & go bak 2 Bethsaida.  Bt he stayed til he snt da crwdz away.  Den he sed gudbi 2 dem nd wnt up da syd of da mountin 2 pray.

He could c his hme boys were jumpin 2 da freak coz they were hardout against da wind.  Nxt morning J-dog came 2 c them wlking on da H2O.  Dey fought he woz a ghost! And dey started 2 scrm.  Al of dem saw hm & wer terrified.  But @ da same tyme he said, “dnt worry!”

J-dog an his dicipls crsd the lake and brght da boat to shr ner da twn-o-Genesaret.  As soon as thy got out-o-da boat, da peple recgnisd J-dog, so thy ran al ova that part-o-da contry to brng ther sick peple to him on mats.  They brought thm each time they herd wher he was.

GLOSSARY for the Txt impaired

J-dog: Jesus
d-siplz: Disciples
Chillaxin': Restful / relaxing
Pepz: People
M8s: Mates
>0: Fish
Gudbi: Goodbye
Jumping 2 da freak: A tad scared